What I Learned From Screwing Everything Up
When did falling start to feel like failing?
When you hear the word “mistake,” what goes on in your head?
For years, I heard that word and thought: “That’s me.” I confused doing something wrong with being something wrong.
But that’s the lie we’re told. Society trains us to fear failure—as if it's proof we’re unworthy. But what if we’ve misunderstood the role of mistakes entirely?
Mistakes aren’t bad, and they aren’t wrong. Human beings have an inherent need to make mistakes, that we are fundamentally wired to stumble, to explore, and to learn from the consequences.
What We Can Learn From Babies
When we’re born, we are all blank slates.
Babies explore the world through fresh eyes, not yet told by the world all the things they can and can’t do.
One of the most significant milestones is learning how to walk.
Before they can walk, babies push themselves up and fall over and over.
And what do we do?
We clap. We cheer. We don’t scold them when they fall—we celebrate it, because every fall means they’re trying.
Every stumble is progress.
Just like babies need to fall to learn, we still need stumbles—especially as teenagers, when our mistakes get more complex.
The Hidden Cost Of Playing It Safe
Teenagers get a bad rep for their impulsiveness, but biologically, it makes sense: their prefrontal cortex—the brain’s decision-making center—isn’t fully developed until age 25.
I was the opposite. In high school, I didn’t party. I avoided social risks. I was what people called “wise for my age.”
But wisdom wasn’t the whole story—I was scared. Social anxiety kept me sidelined.
In some ways, I was behind the curveball. I missed out on a lot of messy, formative experiences.
And maybe that’s the point: we crave mistakes not just to grow—but to connect.
Why We Touch The Stove
Our brains are wired for curiosity. Even when routines feel safe, something deeper urges us to explore.
And why wouldn’t we? When we try new things, our brains release dopamine.
That’s why a child touches a stove despite the warning—it’s not rebellion; it’s a craving to learn firsthand.
We want new experiences, even if they sting. Not because we’re reckless—but because it’s how we grow. Every “mistake” is a doorway into deeper self-knowledge.
Curiosity sets the stage for genuine growth, and sometimes that means a few falls before we truly find our footing.
We flinch when we say the wrong thing in a meeting, when we send the email too soon. When we fall off a habit.
When we choose the wrong relationship, the wrong job, the wrong words.
But these aren’t signs we’re broken. They’re signs we’re brave enough to try.
These moments of exploration, where we might trip or veer off course, aren't proof of failure; they're proof of our humanity.
Mistakes Mean You’re Still In The Game
Every time you mess up, stumble, or cringe at something you said or did… it means you’re alive.
You’re showing up, experimenting, growing, and stretching beyond your comfort zone.
That’s not a weakness. That’s progress in motion.
I know the shame can feel heavy, like you’re the only one still fumbling. But you're not. We all are.
We’re all bumbling through this messy, beautiful life, learning as we go. Mistakes are the trail markers of growth.
So please, stop waiting until you’re “ready.” Go try. Trip. Learn. Laugh. Then try again.
Because the only real mistake is holding yourself back.
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